i cannot stop thinking about this
the year is 1888
me, the first palaeontologist to dig up a triceratops skull, whispering softly: what the fuck, what the fuck, what the fuckkkk
fun fact: modern paleontologists and archaeologists have pointed to some greek vase art of mythological monsters as being evidence that the greeks dug up dinosaur skulls and were like “what the fuck, what the fuck, what the fuckkkk”
and then they did the Greek Thing and painted naked men fighting the monster
or, well, a deeply flawed representation of what they imagined the fossil had looked like while alive, an early form of paleoart.
but sometimes they also just. drew the skull and slapped a black blob monster onto it? anyway i love the greeks.
NICE
god nerfed me by making me allergic to garlic and sunlight
so, a vampire?
i can confirm that i am not a vampire as i have blood
Is it your blood?
it is blood, yes
Is it blood that has always belonged to you, from the moment of your spawning?
it is blood, it is in my possession, therefore it is my blood
Assert dominance over ghosts by jumping out at yourself from dark corners
Why wait for a poltergeist to cause a ruckus? Slam your own doors. Rattle your own windows. Smash your own favourite plate against the wall. Haunt your own house. You don’t need no weakass spirit. The only supernatural force you need in your life is yourself.
“for every hour you spend in class, you should be spending three hours studying” how bout i take a nap instead
HELLO???????
okay so unless you’ve watched the Netflix series u wouldn’t understand but Mort is an interdimensional being who has lived a substantial amount of time. assuming his wives weren’t clones of himself, they probs just died of old age or smth.
thanks that really clears things up
thepreachyvegan
